Conversations with Beethoven Read online

  Alas!—I made my worst mistake last year

  Be so good as to come to the point; I’m very tired.

  I should never have permitted you to matriculate at the Polytechnic Institute—It was a miserable step down to abandon your studies at the University for a business career, worse still for a military career—Even so, you have until September 3rd to make good your examinations at the Institute.

  I shall never go back there, unless of course you insist upon it.

  No doubt you fear that you’ll fail the examinations a second time.

  I fear no such thing! I went to the Institute only because your brother persuaded both of us that I should—Uncle Johann notwithstanding, I’m not suited to a business career.

  Nor to music, nor to philology—only to the army

  That is unjust; a military career requires as much industry and discipline as any other.

  It’s useless to argue since I can be of no help to you in that pursuit.

  On the contrary, if I’m not mistaken, the officer in charge of the military academy at Neustadt, a certain Colonel Faber, is under the command of your Royal pupil’s elder brother.

  Let us drop the subject—I will never agree to a military career!

  But Uncle

  Never—that is final!!!

  The priest has come in—I’ll introduce you to him, but then you must leave, without conversation I beseech you.

  Mr. Beethoven, I am honored to meet you.

  In all modesty I have had considerable experience in these matters.

  Heretofore I have had no difficulty distinguishing between a true and false conversion.

  You may rest assured that your nephew will have to apply himself zealously to the task at hand.

  • • •

  AUGUST 24, 1826

  My dear Stephan,

  I urgently need to consult with you. Can you possibly imagine the subject? Right you are—my nephew! Joking aside, if it’s not too bothersome, I can stop by this evening either before or after supper, whichever suits you best.

  In great haste, your

  BEETHOVEN

  • • •

  Ludwig, I agreed to let Gerhard receive you providing he returned to his room immediately.

  With regard to your nephew what is the latest difficulty?

  I would ask you not to dismiss the idea out of hand; in my view the army might be the best place for him.

  In that respect all of us are slaves. I am a slave to the War Department, Gerhard is a slave to school, and you yourself, are you not a slave to composition? For your nephew to be a slave to the army might in fact prove beneficial to him; after all, we have seen what freedom brought him.

  What better cure for profligacy! The army will bridle the boy in no time.

  I do in fact know Colonel Faber.

  You are right to assume that your nephew would graduate as an officer. But even so, the military academy is not useful for your purposes. Were you to send him there, his schooling in Vienna would go for nought; he would have to start all over again, to drill and study for years. Surely he is not likely to fall in with such a plan. Besides, you would have to pay for him at Neustadt.

  Consider this: I have an acquaintance at the War Department, a certain Lieutenant Field-Marshal Baron von Stutterheim, who commands his own regiment. I shall try to persuade him to grant your nephew a cadetship. If the Baron agrees, the boy would obtain a commission more quickly than at Neustadt and at much less cost to you.

  His regiment is stationed in Moravia.

  At Iglau.

  Two days by coach.

  I grant you that Neustadt is nearer, yet the farther he is from Vienna the better. Indeed the distance will strengthen his discipline.

  True enough, yet the army will bring to an end more than his boyhood; in some wise, Ludwig, it will also end your fatherhood.

  Come quickly, I’ll lead the way.

  Seeing that you have soiled your linen, we had better stop for now.

  Never mind the Lieutenant Field-Marshal, you need not decide the matter to-night.

  By all means, if I can. What is the favor?

  Won’t Holz be serving as your agent there?

  In that case what is the need for both of us?

  If my presence at the hearing will put you at your ease, rest assured that I’ll be there. Please have Holz inform me of the hour.

  • • •

  Maestro, Councilor Breuning was in the courtroom from the start.

  Your nephew was brought in by the police.

  No, he sat in a chair throughout.

  Of his behavior in general he said that he became worse because you demanded that he be better.

  When Czapka probed his motive, your nephew declared that he was driven not by hatred of you but by other feelings.

  For example he—Indeed he mostly voiced the same complaints that you told me were put forward in his letter.

  That you reproached him too much.

  That you kept him under constant surveillance.

  That you held him “imprisoned.”

  On the contrary, the court acknowledged all that you have done for him.

  At the same time, however, the court found that if Karl acted in accordance with natural instinct and expressed the wish to live with his mother, it could hardly object.

  Please calm yourself, the finding was merely conjectural; your nephew expressed no such wish.

  Since he will not be discharged for several weeks it’s premature to fret.

  But I said that your nephew expressed no such wish, not even the wish to visit his mother.

  Why do you speak of your brother?

  May I read it?

  GNEIXENDORF, AUGUST 24, 1826

  Dearest Brother,

  I am taking this opportunity to wish you the very best for tomorrow, your name day. During this trying time while Karl is in the hospital and the summer heat is still cooking Vienna (here the air grows crisper), I want to invite you yet again to spend some weeks with us. From my former experience as an apothecary I know how much good the change would do you—travel is always good for one’s health. God only knows how much healthier, let alone richer, you would be today if you had listened to your little brother last year and gone to London when the Philharmonic Society invited you. But never mind, that is yesterday’s chamber pot. (By the by, I hope that there has been no recurrence of the Kolik; in any case please keep in mind that the powders I left for you are in the chest of drawers between the windows.) Surely by now the terms of my invitation are as familiar to you as the nose on your face: I will put at your disposal three very large and beautiful rooms with a grand view of the Danube valley. After the chestnut trees shed their leaves, one can see all the way to Styria! You already know from my numerous gifts how superb the wines of this region are, but you have yet to discover our beef, goose, trout—Even as I write, the spittle is running down my chin!

  Time and again you have stated that your only reason for refusing my invitations is your dislike, to put it mildly, of my wife and her daughter. Reconsider, I implore you! For your sake I ask you to let bygones be bygones. Before your health fails you utterly, do come here and see my beautiful estate. Therese has all that she can do to supervise the servants and manage the household; thus you will set eyes on her only at the dinner table. As for the daughter, rest assured that Amalie will seldom cross your path. By the by, the girl just turned 19—Imagine! Oh how the years run away! All the more reason then for you to accept my invitation. Providence alone knows the length of time allotted to each of us; although I am four years younger than you, it is conceivable that I could be taken first. On the other hand—But away with such unwholesome thoughts.

  With love and best regards, your most devoted brother

  JOHANN

  Maestro, have you answered him?

  May I read the reply?

  VIENNA, AUGUST 28, 1826

  I am not coming—

  Your brother??????!!!!

 
; LUDWIG

  Maestro, Tacitus himself could not have put it more succinctly.

  Try not to dwell on your brother. All that really matters now is whether there will be another quartet.

  That is music to my ears—or soon will be. In what key?

  But that will be the third one in F. There is still none in D minor.

  What has your nephew to do with it?

  Come now, I told you that he expressed no such wish. Yet even if he should decide to live with his mother

  In all likelihood Breuning is at home; he walked back just ahead of me.

  Gladly, I’ll wait and take it to him.

  My dear Stephan!

  Thank you very much for attending the Inquisition—After weighing the pros and cons, I have decided that I would like you to approach the Lieutenant Field-Marshal—prestissimo! It’s much more urgent than I realized when we spoke, so do use all the cunning of Ulysses.

  In the greatest haste, your

  B.

  • • •

  SEPTEMBER 1, 1826

  My dear Ludwig,

  I have good news! The Lieutenant Field-Marshal has agreed to give your nephew a cadetship. Let us confer as soon as possible.

  Your devoted friend

  STEPHAN

  • • •

  Ludwig, no cunning was required. The Lieutenant Field-Marshal is an admirer of your music; thus he was quick to look with favor upon the proposal. Indeed if your nephew shapes up, Baron von Stutterheim will hold a place for him as an officer.

  The plan is as follows: as soon as your nephew is discharged from the hospital

  I remembered his hernia operation and gave that as the reason for his being laid up.—As soon as he is discharged, I’ll present him to the Lieutenant Field-Marshal. The next day he’ll swear the oath of service; thence he must obtain his medical certificate, be fitted for uniforms, equipped with

  The whole procedure takes six or seven days.

  I suppose that he’ll stay with you since you are his guardian.

  But he expressed no wish to stay with his mother.

  He’ll leave for Iglau the moment the uniforms are ready.

  It can’t be postponed; now that the wheels are set in motion, the plan must go forward.

  I stepped out because I recognized your rapt expression. You were in one of those reveries which my mother termed a raptus and teased you for when we were young.

  I know that such reveries often bear musical ideas, I didn’t know they could also bear legal ones.

  Pertaining to what?

  Seeing that I have been urging you to resign the guardianship for months, I am pleased of course. The decision is both judicious and prudent; moreover it is logical. Once your nephew leaves for Iglau, you will have acquitted yourself of your duty as a father; thereafter no further decisions, at least none of importance, will have to be taken.

  All the same there is still one matter unsettled. Since your nephew does not reach his majority until he is 24, a new guardian will have to be appointed.

  Whom do you have in mind?

  I am honored, naturally. However, in my view Dr. Bach would be a better choice.

  Because, as you know, I am not an admirer of your nephew.

  Ah! so it’s you who resorts to the cunning of Ulysses. When you put it that way, how can I refuse?

  I laughed at myself, not at you. Ten years ago I frowned on your being his guardian, now I have agreed to be appointed.

  Please have Holz inform the Magistrate.

  It goes without saying that I would welcome your thoughts on the subject; do jot them down at your leisure.

  • • •

  In Karl’s case three points should be borne in mind, I think. Firstly, he must not be treated like a convict, for such treatment would not produce the result we desire, but precisely the opposite—secondly, if he is to be promoted to the higher ranks, he must not live too frugally and shabbily—thirdly, he would find it hard to face too great a restriction in eating and drinking—But I do not wish to forestall you.

  • • •

  Maestro, Czapka said that he will gladly appoint Breuning as your replacement.

  Not only was he quick to agree, but he did so with a smile.

  You are forgetting how agitated you were after your last visit to the hospital.

  If it’s merely a matter of conveying your name day wishes

  By all means suit yourself.

  • • •

  Uncle, after what happened last time, I told Holz that I didn’t want you to visit again.

  The Emperor granted me a dispensation for your name day—Well now, I’m heartened to see some color in your cheeks and to find you sitting up and reading the Bible—presumably for the priest. Has he worked your conversion yet?

  Indeed he has.

  Backward to the Dark Ages?

  I, too, was skeptical at first, yet now I begin to be convinced, not by his teachings but by the man himself. He is utterly altruistic and sincere.

  How like you to discern those qualities in a mystical priest, yet fail to see them in your Uncle! But never mind, for your name day—Note well that I, unlike a certain thankless party, have not forgotten the occasion—Apropos of the Bible, I bring you glad tidings!

  Why are you silent? Am I to guess the tidings?

  Certainly not—All arrangements are now in place for a military career.

  Thank you, Uncle, a thousand thanks; you have made me very happy.

  If so, why do you remove your hand from mine?

  How could I otherwise write down my response? Were matters arranged by Colonel Faber?

  No, by a friend of Breuning’s at the War Department, a certain Lieutenant Field-Marshal von Stutterheim. He has agreed to give you a cadetship in his regiment.

  That is even better than the academy, promotion might occur sooner.

  Don’t be too quick to count chickens.

  Where will I be stationed?

  In Moravia—which should warm your heart seeing that it takes you so far from your Jailer!

  What I wish to be far from is Vienna, which should warm yours. May I know what the plan is?

  As soon as you are discharged from this dungeon, Breuning will present you to the Lieutenant Field-Marshal. Immediately thereafter—Why do you finger the bandage?

  I was thinking of the scar; I fear that it may still be visible after I’m discharged.

  Since that is three or four weeks hence, let us lose no sleep—At any rate, while you are waiting for your health certificate and uniforms etc. you’ll stay with me; then as soon as everything is in order, you’ll leave for Iglau.

  How long shall I be with you?

  four or five days

  What is the matter, has the cat got your tongue?—In view of the possibility that you may never see me again, are five days too many to spend with your guardian?

  Of course not, nor will it be our last time together. Simply because I join von Stutterheim’s regiment doesn’t mean

  And what would you do if I were not your guardian?

  I don’t understand the question.

  Would you still wish to stay with me?

  What are you fishing for?

  I have decided to resign the guardianship in favor of Councilor Breuning.

  Why do you make such a face?

  Again the cat!

  Breuning doesn’t like me.

  Tant pis! perhaps now you’ll come to appreciate your former guardian’s devotion. Well, what shall I tell the Councilor—are you or are you not in agreement with the plan?

  I am, naturally.

  • • •

  Maestro, I’ll thank you to stop saying “old married man”; I have been in the blissful state but a scant five days. As for procreating, I can only tell you that I apply myself assiduously and with Catullan ardor.

  Concerning your nephew, I’m afraid there is an unforeseen development.

  No need for me to do so, he has explained the matter himself.

&n
bsp; SEPTEMBER 18, 1826

  Dear Uncle,

  Now that the bandages have been removed the worst is upon us: where the bullet entered the flesh a void stands out as hairless as limestone. Under the circumstances I cannot possibly be presented to the Lieutenant Field-Marshal, not until all sign of what happened is covered over.

  Your dutiful nephew

  KARL

  Maestro, that would indeed make sense, were it not that your nephew has changed his mind.

  He is no longer willing to stay with you.

  Please don’t excite yourself, not a word was said about staying with his mother.

  Evidently the priest is satisfied; thus Dr. Seng intends to discharge him a week from today.

  Unquestionably, but the trick is how to persuade your nephew.

  In my opinion Breuning ought to visit the hospital tomorrow, not only to find out why your nephew changed his mind, but to remind him in plain words of the promise he made you.

  • • •

  Ludwig, your nephew will go wherever I deem best. At the same time he asked me, as his newly appointed guardian, not to make him come back here.

  If only to forestall a repetition of what happened in July, I venture to say that I agree with him.